Part of my history, and hopefully not part of my kids'

Twelve years ago this past evening, a young man named Matthew Shepherd was kidnapped from a bar in Laramie, Wyoming by two men. He was savagely beaten, tied to a fence far from town, and left. Some time later, a passing biker spotted him (at first thinking him to be a scarecrow), and he was taken to a hospital in Colorado, where he died five days later.

This year, for the first time, that brutal attack could have been prosecuted as a federal hate crime, because Matthew was killed because he was gay. It took twelve years for the government to accomplish this. Twelve years.

If my math is correct, Matthew would be in his mid-thirties had he lived. What would he think about the pace of progress on LGBT issues in this country?

In recent months, at least five gay youths have committed suicide, a desperate solution that they reached as a direct result of homophobic bullying in school. Will we have to wait a further twelve years to see anti-bullying efforts? As a former recipient of some fairly significant homophobic bullying, I hope that it doesn't take that long, and that it doesn't take the deaths of hundreds of other youths to achieve progress.


I was lucky. They may not be.


For more information on the epidemic of gay youth suicide, and what you can do to help, visit www.thetrevorproject.org.

Unemployment; or, What Recovery?

As of today, I have been unemployed for 74 days. I have applied to, on average, 5 jobs per day for the past 74 days. That is, ladies and gentlemen, an estimated total of 370 job applications. From these 370 applications, I have had two phone interviews and one in-person interview. This means that I have a less-than-1% success rate of getting to the interview stage.

What is the problem? I promise, I'm not applying to jobs out of my skill set or experience level, and in many cases, I'm applying under my ability.

Anyone know any magical job tricks? Special employment potions? Hiring chants? 'Cause I could definitely use some increased mojo on the job front.

Pride

Its that time of year again, the wonderful time when skinny, tan-free boys decide its a great idea to parade through major cities across the country in little more (or less, sometimes) than their skivvies, and comingle with drag queens of every shape and size, plus a smattering of dykes-on-bikes and slave bears looking for their masters.

Yes, ladies and gaydies, its Pride season. Pride officially commemorates the Stonewall Riots, widely considered to be the first gay rights protest in the US. Now, in a time when we are both gaining rights (see Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont) and losing them (see California, DOMA) faster than ever, I guess that I would have hoped for a more productive outlet for our "pride".

Why aren't we taking our twinks in speedos and 37 Liza impersonators to the gates of the White House and demanding action? There are very few things that are more intimidating than a 6'5" man, wearing 5" pumps, and looking like Cher in the video for "If I Could Turn Back Time". The bitch will kick your ass if you cross her, so Obama, best do as she says.

Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Its the right thing, and you have the backing of a majority of the country on this one.

Repeal the Defense of Marriage Act. It is heinously discriminatory, and yet the Department of Justice filed a brief defending it.

Fix immigration for gay and lesbian partners.

Oh, and that whole marriage thing... I'd like to be able to register at Pottery Barn without the insult of "Civil Union Registry"...

Anyway... I skipped the parade tonight, but I'll be going to the street fair tomorrow. Dressed as myself. Because the world is a better place because I don't own assless chaps.

Have a proud Pride, all, and don't forget to work for equality for all.

The trouble with love is...

And I'm back... For some reason, I haven't been keeping up with my blogorial duties of late. I do apologize to anyone out there who actually cares what I have to say on here.

So, now, the post. I have been thinking about love a lot lately. No, its not because I'm in love, or dating someone, or anything... I've just been thinking about it a lot in general.

I have a lot of friends who are ridiculously happy in their long-term relationships or marriages or what have you... I have a lot of friends who recently got burned by their exes. But I feel like I don't have very many friends who, like me, have gone for quite some time without a relationship.

What it really boils down to is that I don't know why I haven't been trying to be in a relationship. I imagine it is at least in part that I have been very busy with the new job (but the "new job" is now 6 months old...), but I suppose that the rest of the blame, as it were, lies with me. Have I been avoiding the mere possibility of intimacy out of fear of rejection? Probably.

Rejection is the thing I deal with the worst. I can handle chaos, turmoil, pressure, all that... but rejection, especially on something as personal as love, is not something you can write off.

Oh, clearly, I did nothing wrong... This was no fault of my own...

Much like vocal auditions (for which I have never been rejected, and I've done a good bit of auditioning), there is nothing upon which to place blame but on oneself when dealing with a relationship rejection. I guess I just don't have the mindset that some do, the "Oh well, their loss" mindset... I can't do that.

I missed that lesson in life school.

And until I learn to deal with rejection (because I am under no illusions that it won't happen... I know it will), I don't think I can open myself willingly to it.

Goal for the year: Learn to deal.



The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside,
Make your heart believe a lie,
Its stronger than your pride...

Its been a while... But I'm back!

Hi and hello there HowItIs readers! I realize that I have been seriously neglecting my responsibilities of late (of late being... since October), but I promise I have a good excuse...

A JOB!

A job which I love, and they love me. Huzzah! I get to use my brain like, all day! Quite the novel concept!

Well, for now, that is it... Oh, and for those of you interested in the sports happenings of the day, check out my brotherblog, JFLANLand.blogspot.com. He's a pretty cool kid, and has a fun "Facial Hair of the Week" feature, for all of you into ca-raaazy facial hair.

"Time off"... Riiiight...

So, how does one explain to one's successful friends that one is out of a job?

Due to the current economic downturn and funding issues within my current employer, I shall soon be without a job. Suffice it to say, I have been doing some serious pavement-pounding for another, but as of this post, my over 100 resume/cover-letter combos have been fruitless. So now, everyone at the current job knows I'm leaving, and I've told my close friends the whole story...

But what do you say to the people you see in passing who ask?

The current story is that I'm off to volunteer on a local senatorial campaign, which may or may not be true, depending on their need for volunteers. But is there a short and polite way to say "I'm leaving my current job, and I don't have another" without eliciting pitiful remarks or that look that just screams "wow, fired, what ethics code did you violate"?

Suggestions are more than welcome.

A Quick word...

Just a brief congrats to both Lindsay Lohan who kinda sorta came out, and Clay Aiken, who really did, via the always-classy People Magazine cover. We here at HowItIs wish them the best! Go gays!