So, how does one explain to one's successful friends that one is out of a job?
Due to the current economic downturn and funding issues within my current employer, I shall soon be without a job. Suffice it to say, I have been doing some serious pavement-pounding for another, but as of this post, my over 100 resume/cover-letter combos have been fruitless. So now, everyone at the current job knows I'm leaving, and I've told my close friends the whole story...
But what do you say to the people you see in passing who ask?
The current story is that I'm off to volunteer on a local senatorial campaign, which may or may not be true, depending on their need for volunteers. But is there a short and polite way to say "I'm leaving my current job, and I don't have another" without eliciting pitiful remarks or that look that just screams "wow, fired, what ethics code did you violate"?
Suggestions are more than welcome.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A Quick word...
Just a brief congrats to both Lindsay Lohan who kinda sorta came out, and Clay Aiken, who really did, via the always-classy People Magazine cover. We here at HowItIs wish them the best! Go gays!
Ben & Jerry’s introduces a new flavor… Motorboat Crunch?
So, yesterday, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) published a letter that they wrote to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, the cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. In this letter, they kindly request that B&J change their formula to include human breast milk for 75% of their current cow’s milk use.
Is it just me, or does this premise conjure up hilarious mental images?
Large-breasted women, in Lay-Z-Boys, topless, reading OK! Magazine while they are given permanent nipple hickeys by an industrial milking machine… Sounds like something out of a John Waters movie.
Natch, Ben and Jerry politely declined, but this got me thinking… What clever, Ben & Jerry’s-esque name would you give breast milk ice cream? Double D Ripple? Please share!
Is it just me, or does this premise conjure up hilarious mental images?
Large-breasted women, in Lay-Z-Boys, topless, reading OK! Magazine while they are given permanent nipple hickeys by an industrial milking machine… Sounds like something out of a John Waters movie.
Natch, Ben and Jerry politely declined, but this got me thinking… What clever, Ben & Jerry’s-esque name would you give breast milk ice cream? Double D Ripple? Please share!
Monday, September 15, 2008
"Mopeds are Dangerous!"
I. Hate. Mopeds.
Vespae, Hondas, what have you. Hate them.
This hatred stems not from some repressed experience that occurred while watching “Roman Holiday”, but from my time on Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts.
On the Vineyard, tourists who have not ridden a bike in 40 years think that it is a great idea to rent mopeds to see the sights, and proceed to drive at 15 mph in the center lane of the only major roads on the island, and, because they have lost that precious thing called balance, they often fall.
(I will admit that it is comical when they fall.)
Anyways, Vineyard residents hate the mopeds, and many of them have bumper stickers that read, “Mopeds are Dangerous!” (hence the post title). They have even been known to shout this as they pass the slow-moving mopeds (slowpeds?).
So, why does this have me worked up now?
Mopeds are invading DC. (!!!! Run for the hills!!! Or for the Hill!!!!)
Personally, I blame the hipsters, but that’s a vendetta best saved for another entry on another day. Come on people! DC has a great metro/metro bus system, and is an extremely walkable city. If you are commuting in from Virginia or Maryland, there are Metro stops there, too. It’s called park-and-ride.
These DC two-wheelers have managed to meld the worst characteristics of city bikers and motorcycle enthusiasts. More than once, I have had to restrain myself from opening the door as a moped zipped down the lane line as I was waiting in traffic. They do not obey traffic laws, but insist on using the streets.
They must be stopped… Who’s with me?!
No one? Damn.
Vespae, Hondas, what have you. Hate them.
This hatred stems not from some repressed experience that occurred while watching “Roman Holiday”, but from my time on Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts.
On the Vineyard, tourists who have not ridden a bike in 40 years think that it is a great idea to rent mopeds to see the sights, and proceed to drive at 15 mph in the center lane of the only major roads on the island, and, because they have lost that precious thing called balance, they often fall.
(I will admit that it is comical when they fall.)
Anyways, Vineyard residents hate the mopeds, and many of them have bumper stickers that read, “Mopeds are Dangerous!” (hence the post title). They have even been known to shout this as they pass the slow-moving mopeds (slowpeds?).
So, why does this have me worked up now?
Mopeds are invading DC. (!!!! Run for the hills!!! Or for the Hill!!!!)
Personally, I blame the hipsters, but that’s a vendetta best saved for another entry on another day. Come on people! DC has a great metro/metro bus system, and is an extremely walkable city. If you are commuting in from Virginia or Maryland, there are Metro stops there, too. It’s called park-and-ride.
These DC two-wheelers have managed to meld the worst characteristics of city bikers and motorcycle enthusiasts. More than once, I have had to restrain myself from opening the door as a moped zipped down the lane line as I was waiting in traffic. They do not obey traffic laws, but insist on using the streets.
They must be stopped… Who’s with me?!
No one? Damn.
Friday, September 12, 2008
"Great". Really?
“Great”
I think that English needs some more words, or perhaps we just need to learn the ones that already exist…
Take for example, “great”. Now, “great” is not a great word. It is overused and underappreciated (much like “awesome” was during the TMNT days… Cowabunga!), so that we really have lost any appreciation of how great “great” really is.
Words that indicate degree are often problematic, and “great” is no exception. Just how great is “great”? “Great” is “just swell”? “Fabulous”? “Amazing”? “Fantastic”? If you found $5 in your desk drawer, is that great? To me, meh, I mean, $5 is nice, but it’s not great. I’m sure I’ll spend it poorly, anyway. But $100 in my desk drawer? That’s one great accounting error in my favor.
Sometimes, we use “great” to mean vast, or huge, or any of those other size words… But this morning on the radio as I commuted into work, I heard someone refer to the September 11 attacks as “the greatest tragedy in American history”.
Now, whether or not this is true aside, I took some offense to this statement. Can we possibly use the fairly mundane word “great” to describe the horrors of that day? Is there no better way to describe it? I think “great” is both too vast and too limited in scope to rightly describe such an event. Can one word even describe it? Just something to contemplate when you are discussing the “where-were-you-when-you-heard”s that will surely be water-cooler fodder for the day.
I like to think of it in this way: It was a day and a time when they eyes of the world focused singularly in a united shock and, together, wept.
So, today, please do take a quiet moment to reflect on how life has changed, for better or worse, since that day. And when you do, please try to avoid using the word "great".
I think that English needs some more words, or perhaps we just need to learn the ones that already exist…
Take for example, “great”. Now, “great” is not a great word. It is overused and underappreciated (much like “awesome” was during the TMNT days… Cowabunga!), so that we really have lost any appreciation of how great “great” really is.
Words that indicate degree are often problematic, and “great” is no exception. Just how great is “great”? “Great” is “just swell”? “Fabulous”? “Amazing”? “Fantastic”? If you found $5 in your desk drawer, is that great? To me, meh, I mean, $5 is nice, but it’s not great. I’m sure I’ll spend it poorly, anyway. But $100 in my desk drawer? That’s one great accounting error in my favor.
Sometimes, we use “great” to mean vast, or huge, or any of those other size words… But this morning on the radio as I commuted into work, I heard someone refer to the September 11 attacks as “the greatest tragedy in American history”.
Now, whether or not this is true aside, I took some offense to this statement. Can we possibly use the fairly mundane word “great” to describe the horrors of that day? Is there no better way to describe it? I think “great” is both too vast and too limited in scope to rightly describe such an event. Can one word even describe it? Just something to contemplate when you are discussing the “where-were-you-when-you-heard”s that will surely be water-cooler fodder for the day.
I like to think of it in this way: It was a day and a time when they eyes of the world focused singularly in a united shock and, together, wept.
So, today, please do take a quiet moment to reflect on how life has changed, for better or worse, since that day. And when you do, please try to avoid using the word "great".
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